Follow through

Three days ago, I asked Kyle to take his afternoon nap. Being the five year old that he is, he didn't do what I asked him to do. For two hours, we engaged in a power struggle-- him trying his damnest to be free from the very difficult task of sleeping and me trying to convince him otherwise. I was even surprised when he threw this verbal punch at me "If papa was here, I won't be even sleeping he would let me play." Having heard that, I thought "Oh yeah? but you see papa is not here." Trying to act bigger, I bit my tongue and refrained from saying that out loud. I gave him an ultimatum instead that if he doesn't take a nap that day, he won't have his Xbox and PSP privileges for three days. Perhaps he thought I wasn't serious about it or maybe he thought I'd get distracted and he'd still have those privileges, he agreed.



That day, he didn't take his afternoon nap.

Yesterday, extreme boredom made him miss his toys so much that he mightily tried to trick me into letting him play with his toys. If I remembered correctly this is how the conversation went:

KYLE: Mom, can I play with my PSP?
ME: No
KYLE: How about the Xbox?
ME: No
KYLE: When can I play with my PSP and XBOX?
ME: On Sunday. Didn't we agree that if you don't take afternoon naps, you'll lose your Xbox and PSP privileges?
KYLE: Oh ok (sad face). So when can I play?
ME: Sunday.
KYLE: What day is it today?
ME: Friday.

-- after 30 minutes he came back saying:

KYLE: Mom can I play with my toys now?
ME: No.
KYLE: But you just said I can play on Friday. It's now Friday.
ME: No, I said you can play on Sunday. It is only Friday.

Thinking about it now brings me different kinds of realisations. One, that Kyle is too smart for his own good and two, follow through is just as important in disciplining kids. Kyle not taking me seriously the first time I enforced our ultimatum might not be entirely baseless. After all, there have been times when he has gotten away because I, myself, didn't take the matter at hand seriously.

The thing is, when we impose rules and punishments on our kids, we also impose these on ourselves because it is up to us to make sure that they are followed. Disciplining doesn't stop with just handing out the guidelines. It has to be followed through.



P.S.

I think it has become clear to Kyle that I meant business. Look at him now, dreaming about his PSP and Xbox, perhaps?